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I want to stay in Cali, but it’s hard out here when you feel so lonely. Maybe, I should return home and try to make a life out there. But, what would these last two years with you be? Memories, or forgotten love?

Here we are again

It seems I vent to you everyday, for no one to read, but just to get it out. Why won’t you talk to me? Was it something I did? I realize we aren’t okay right now, but some effort would help our situation. Pushing me away isn’t changing anything. All day I hurt inside. All day I question what I should do. I don’t want to do any of that. I want to look past this. The past is the past for a reason and you aren’t apart of that. You’re apart of the present and the future. So, act like it, please, because this is getting us nowhere :/

It’s a tuggle war between what’s comfortable and what she really wants.

There are so many things I want to ask and bring up, but I’m afraid it will push you away, and I really don’t want that. So, I’ll keep holding it in until I eventually forget about it. It’s not as easy as I thought it would be to just let it go and you’ll have to earn my trust again, because it’s hard to stop thinking it isn’t happening now. You’ll have to prove it to me, somehow. All I can think in my head for now is that it’s going on right in front of me and I’m too blind by loving you to notice it. Please, don’t play me :/

I wish we could go back. I feel like I’m struggling to maintain this. I don’t even feel close anymore. Everything we’ve done feels just like it never even mattered. I’m scared. I’m lost. I can’t keep seeing you for a couple hours a week. I can’t keep having these thoughts. I just can’t do this anymore. I’m losing my composure and every bit of happiness I felt. I’m crazy. I’m off. I don’t know what you expect from me when I don’t even get what I expect from you. What happened to you? What happened to me? Where did we stray off course? Where am I even going anymore? I set my future to play around you, but your future is set to go even farther away. What am I doing? I can’t see the road anymore. Everything is foggy. I’m broken. Why?

Why is there always a song for exactly how you feel? This one is mine. I didn’t think i could relate to this one. Ever.


I wasn’t even ready to say goodbye,
It seemed like that kiss lasted forever
But didn’t last long enough,
You are the hope that resides in me

I hope this goes well, cause for a long time
I will be living in hell away from you
And I ask myself ‘is that something I can do?’

I wasn’t even ready to say goodbye,
It seemed like that kiss lasted forever
But didn’t last long enough,
We will continue in tune and it will be
Full of the warmth we shared so far
And it wasn’t easy to walk into the car
Could you please give me something to hold on to?
Something deep that will remind me of you

With your voice on the phone, I don’t feel so alone
I feel you next to me, breathing in your sleep
With your voice on the phone, I don’t feel so alone
I feel you next to me, breathing in your sleep

With your voice on the phone, I don’t feel so alone
I feel you next to me, breathing in your sleep
With your voice on the phone, I don’t feel so alone
I feel you next to me, breathing in your sleep

I wasn’t even ready to say goodbye,
It seemed like that kiss lasted (lasted, lasted) forever
But didn’t last long enough,
You are the hope that resides in me
(with your voice on the phone, I don’t feel so alone
I feel you next to me, breathing in your sleep)
And the next time, I drift off to sleep,
I hope you will be the next thing I see
(with your voice on the phone, I don’t feel so alone
I feel you next to me, breathing in your sleep)

How do I give you space when everything i look at in my room reminds me of you. Your books for school are still here. The build a bear you made me. Your bobby pins. Your soap, towel, and loufa. All the nights we slept in this bed. It’s not easy for me to stay away. Why is it so easy for you? :(

Why, today?

What have I done wrong?.. I thought I was being a fair boyfriend. I get a little upset when I don’t get to see you and a little crazy, but I’ve seen you pretty much every day for the last year and a couple months. We’ve spent so much time together. You know how hard it is to just let go and give the person you love, the person you want to be with, wake up next to, make memories with, etc. time away from you. I never thought this day would come. I never thought I would have to endure not seeing you or even speaking to you for however long this may be, but I have to do it now. I have no choice. So, you’ll get your time. I just really hope you come back. I may be obsessed. I may be crazy, but I love you. I’ll go to the ends of the earth for you. I’d give everything up for you. I even decided to stay in the same state as you and give up my friends back home. Maybe, I was too needy. Maybe, I smothered you too much, but how can you love someone and not want to be with them. How can you push them away knowing you really want them? Maybe, I really deserve this. I’ve never in my life felt so broken and helpless. You were my wall, my stantion. You were the reason I could stand. I’ll give you the space and time, just please realize you need me and come back :/

1 week from now will be the date of when we met 2 years ago. We’ve been through so much together. Ups and downs. But, we’ve made it through everything. I can honestly say that I am finally happy. I can’t imagine my life without you and I can’t wait to spend the rest of it with you. I’m excited for our future and everything we are about to do. I can’t wait to wake up with you right next to me every morning. I’m so grateful for God putting you in my life. I love you, so much sugarbear. You have my heart completely.

1 week from now will be the date of when we met 2 years ago. We’ve been through so much together. Ups and downs. But, we’ve made it through everything. I can honestly say that I am finally happy. I can’t imagine my life without you and I can’t wait to spend the rest of it with you. I’m excited for our future and everything we are about to do. I can’t wait to wake up with you right next to me every morning. I’m so grateful for God putting you in my life. I love you, so much sugarbear. You have my heart completely.

I am pathetic.

I want to stay in Cali, but it’s hard out here when you feel so lonely. Maybe, I should return home and try to make a life out there. But, what would these last two years with you be? Memories, or forgotten love?

Here we are again

It seems I vent to you everyday, for no one to read, but just to get it out. Why won’t you talk to me? Was it something I did? I realize we aren’t okay right now, but some effort would help our situation. Pushing me away isn’t changing anything. All day I hurt inside. All day I question what I should do. I don’t want to do any of that. I want to look past this. The past is the past for a reason and you aren’t apart of that. You’re apart of the present and the future. So, act like it, please, because this is getting us nowhere :/

It’s a tuggle war between what’s comfortable and what she really wants.

There are so many things I want to ask and bring up, but I’m afraid it will push you away, and I really don’t want that. So, I’ll keep holding it in until I eventually forget about it. It’s not as easy as I thought it would be to just let it go and you’ll have to earn my trust again, because it’s hard to stop thinking it isn’t happening now. You’ll have to prove it to me, somehow. All I can think in my head for now is that it’s going on right in front of me and I’m too blind by loving you to notice it. Please, don’t play me :/

I wish we could go back. I feel like I’m struggling to maintain this. I don’t even feel close anymore. Everything we’ve done feels just like it never even mattered. I’m scared. I’m lost. I can’t keep seeing you for a couple hours a week. I can’t keep having these thoughts. I just can’t do this anymore. I’m losing my composure and every bit of happiness I felt. I’m crazy. I’m off. I don’t know what you expect from me when I don’t even get what I expect from you. What happened to you? What happened to me? Where did we stray off course? Where am I even going anymore? I set my future to play around you, but your future is set to go even farther away. What am I doing? I can’t see the road anymore. Everything is foggy. I’m broken. Why?

Why is there always a song for exactly how you feel? This one is mine. I didn’t think i could relate to this one. Ever.


I wasn’t even ready to say goodbye,
It seemed like that kiss lasted forever
But didn’t last long enough,
You are the hope that resides in me

I hope this goes well, cause for a long time
I will be living in hell away from you
And I ask myself ‘is that something I can do?’

I wasn’t even ready to say goodbye,
It seemed like that kiss lasted forever
But didn’t last long enough,
We will continue in tune and it will be
Full of the warmth we shared so far
And it wasn’t easy to walk into the car
Could you please give me something to hold on to?
Something deep that will remind me of you

With your voice on the phone, I don’t feel so alone
I feel you next to me, breathing in your sleep
With your voice on the phone, I don’t feel so alone
I feel you next to me, breathing in your sleep

With your voice on the phone, I don’t feel so alone
I feel you next to me, breathing in your sleep
With your voice on the phone, I don’t feel so alone
I feel you next to me, breathing in your sleep

I wasn’t even ready to say goodbye,
It seemed like that kiss lasted (lasted, lasted) forever
But didn’t last long enough,
You are the hope that resides in me
(with your voice on the phone, I don’t feel so alone
I feel you next to me, breathing in your sleep)
And the next time, I drift off to sleep,
I hope you will be the next thing I see
(with your voice on the phone, I don’t feel so alone
I feel you next to me, breathing in your sleep)

How do I give you space when everything i look at in my room reminds me of you. Your books for school are still here. The build a bear you made me. Your bobby pins. Your soap, towel, and loufa. All the nights we slept in this bed. It’s not easy for me to stay away. Why is it so easy for you? :(

Why, today?

What have I done wrong?.. I thought I was being a fair boyfriend. I get a little upset when I don’t get to see you and a little crazy, but I’ve seen you pretty much every day for the last year and a couple months. We’ve spent so much time together. You know how hard it is to just let go and give the person you love, the person you want to be with, wake up next to, make memories with, etc. time away from you. I never thought this day would come. I never thought I would have to endure not seeing you or even speaking to you for however long this may be, but I have to do it now. I have no choice. So, you’ll get your time. I just really hope you come back. I may be obsessed. I may be crazy, but I love you. I’ll go to the ends of the earth for you. I’d give everything up for you. I even decided to stay in the same state as you and give up my friends back home. Maybe, I was too needy. Maybe, I smothered you too much, but how can you love someone and not want to be with them. How can you push them away knowing you really want them? Maybe, I really deserve this. I’ve never in my life felt so broken and helpless. You were my wall, my stantion. You were the reason I could stand. I’ll give you the space and time, just please realize you need me and come back :/

1 week from now will be the date of when we met 2 years ago. We’ve been through so much together. Ups and downs. But, we’ve made it through everything. I can honestly say that I am finally happy. I can’t imagine my life without you and I can’t wait to spend the rest of it with you. I’m excited for our future and everything we are about to do. I can’t wait to wake up with you right next to me every morning. I’m so grateful for God putting you in my life. I love you, so much sugarbear. You have my heart completely.

1 week from now will be the date of when we met 2 years ago. We’ve been through so much together. Ups and downs. But, we’ve made it through everything. I can honestly say that I am finally happy. I can’t imagine my life without you and I can’t wait to spend the rest of it with you. I’m excited for our future and everything we are about to do. I can’t wait to wake up with you right next to me every morning. I’m so grateful for God putting you in my life. I love you, so much sugarbear. You have my heart completely.

I am pathetic.

Here we are again
Why, today?

About:

Joey Hill
Beauty is invisible
Love is blind

If we can't escape, we might as well remain.

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